There has been a writing challenge to create a fictional silly conversation called a “Poconversartion”. In truth, our credit union has been bought out and we are considering switching credit unions, so here is my fictional conversation with the bank manager at a potential “new” credit union.
I walk into bank manager Amy’s office to discuss opening accounts at her credit union.
Amy, “Hello Mr. Gramze, what can I do for you?”
Jim, “Call me Jim. Our credit union was bought out and I don’t like their new terms. I’d like to see if you guys have a better deal.”
Amy, “One of our most popular accounts is a Christmas savings account. You specify how much to save each week and it is automatically set aside from your regular checking account, and on the business day before Thanksgiving we transfer it back to your checking account so you have money to buy Christmas presents.”
Jim, “Hmmm. I’m an Ancient Alien Theorist and my wife has converted to Judaism. We always get what we want when the time is right instead of waiting to the end of the year. Do you have a Hanukkah savings account?”
Amy, “No, we are a mostly Christian community so there isn’t really any demand for Hanukkah accounts. Sure you don’t want that Christmas account to save up for a telescope so you can see the aliens’ second coming in person?”
Jim, “No, they are waiting for us to figure out how to return to them in Orion. All the pyramid groupings throughout the world are configured in the shape of Orion’s belt as a clear message of where our real origins are. I could never save up enough money for a space ship and honestly, the technology just isn’t there yet. Hey, what about this Joint savings account?”
Amy, “Oh! That is our most popular one of all!”
Jim, “Is that for medicinal purposes only?”
Amy, “Not at all. We don’t judge or police what our members do with their money. Our local dealers tend to only want cash anyway. They tend to be really strict when it comes to credit so people try to avoid that at all costs.”
Jim, “So how does this work?”
Amy, “Well, we have the casual-user monthly account, and for the small-businessman we have quarterly savings — both have a cash-and-carry policy at the end of each term.”
Jim, “I suppose you have cute little names for these Joint plans?”
Amy, “Of course! The monthly plan is called the ‘Ounce Account’, and we call the quarterly plan ‘The Kilo’.”
Jim, “It seems that instead of a Christian community we should instead be Rastafarian.”
Amy, “So it would seem. Which account best suits you?”
Jim, “Well, we’ve only been here about a year, so why don’t I start with the monthly account and I can always upgrade once I network and make some business connections.”
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Temitoria, this bud’s for you.