The Art of Seduction

ArtOfSeductionI was shocked when simply reading through the chapter names of the book The Art of Seduction by Robert Green. While I have not yet read the book, only discovering it last night, the chapter names themselves shed light on something that happened to me ending in early February of 2012. This seduction is not merely about getting sex, although I suspect it could be used for this purpose, but more about the clever and effective manipulation of people.

My own experience with this seduction had to do with a woman twenty-one years my junior attempting — and almost succeeding — to break up my marriage in order to take my wife’s place. It was all subtly and patiently and expertly done with the woman gradually interjecting herself into my life.

She had left her husband and set herself up in an apartment within walking distance of our home. Having known me for a good number of years she got to know me and my soft spots. If someone needs help I have a genuine desire to help them if I can and here is her poor little self with a factory job and an apartment she can barely afford.

One example of how she operated: I love the piano and enjoy teaching. She wanted me to teach her to play the piano. Having been first-chair flute as a freshman in her high school orchestra, she already had a good sense of music. I guess it is most natural to find common interests and take advantage of them. These piano lessons got me out of my home, away from my wife, and into her apartment where we would have a good lesson and then naturally fall into having long heart-to-heart talks. We became best friends able to talk about anything without reservation.

Long story short she pretty much had me without my even knowing it. She began cautioning me about how my wife was going to leave me and take everything. She assured me that I could trust her to put all my money into her care so when my wife left me that money would be sheltered. Her husband, and this was a major tip off, also offered to put all my money in a secure safe in his basement for the exact same reason. So obviously they are either working together or she was manipulating her semi-estranged husband. Their amicable separation was and is believable.

The hurt in my wife when she found out what was going on — sex never happened, but there genuinely was an “emotional affair” — was rather striking and profound. This lead to much yelling and arguing and talk of divorce, likely just as planned by our little seducer. My wife’s hurt ultimately won the day as I was forced to make a decision, and it was not difficult to make a choice between the two when push came to shove. After a period of obvious tension and distrust my wife and I are now closer than ever.

The woman in question is now preying on a kind gentleman in Louisville, Kentucky; that, or she genuinely found a man she can be happy with — perhaps both. As there is no evidence of divorcing her husband, that they still jointly own their home, that they shared an expensive phone contract until her husband’s end of the contract recently expired, all add up to a mutual con-artist team; that or she is rather brilliantly manipulating her husband which I think is actually the case. She is very very good, her husband not so much which is actually a credit to him.

I will close by listing the chapter names. As scanning them was a jaw-dropping experience for me perhaps it will spark recognition in yourself as well. My wife had once spotted this book in her bedroom years ago which is how I got to investigating it last night. Something sparked the memory. You might want to read this book yourself as a means of raising your awareness to protect against something like this happening to you.

The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene

Part One – The Seductive Character

  • SeductressThe Siren
  • The Rake
  • The Ideal Lover
  • The Dandy
  • The Natural
  • The Coquette
  • The Charmer
  • The Star
  • The Anti-Seducer

Part Two – The Seductive Process

  1. Choose the Right Victim
  2. Create a False Sense of Security — Approach Indirectly
  3. Send Mixed Signals
  4. Appear to Be an Object of Desire
  5. Create a Need — Stir Anxiety and Discontent
  6. Master the Art of Insinuation
  7. Enter Their Spirit
  8. Create Temptation
  9. Keep Them in Suspense — What Comes Next?
  10. Use the Demonic Power of Words to Sow Confusion
  11. Pay Attention to Detail
  12. Poeticize Your Presence
  13. Disarm Through Strategic Weakness and Vulnerability
  14. Confuse Desire and Reality — The Perfect Illusion
  15. Isolate the Victim
  16. Prove Yourself
  17. Effect a Regression
  18. Stir Up the Transgressive and Taboo
  19. Use Spiritual Lures
  20. Mix Pleasure with Pain
  21. Give Them Space to Fall — The Pursuer is Pursued
  22. Use Physical Lures
  23. Master the Art of the Bold Move
  24. Beware the Aftereffects

8 thoughts on “The Art of Seduction

  1. I have his newest book, Mastery, but haven’t got the chance to read it yet, I really enjoy his books and how he writes. I like how he uses historical points to reinforce his concepts. His books are dangerous is the wrong hands, I think people try to take what he writes a little to literal.

    • I agree on all points, Justin. As I begin reading I find it is extremely well written and the in depth discussion of seduction techniques as employed by such figures as Marilyn Monroe and Cleopatra are fun and interesting all without any intent of using this as a manual toward becoming more effective in a manipulative vein.

      What I find most interesting and compelling is the author’s insistence that we are all doing these things with each other without knowing it and in a sense this is all just taking what you are already doing and making an art of effective behavior. Dale Carnegie and his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People” pales in comparison. I rejected Carnegie and I expect to reject Greene.

      Still, recognizing when someone is doing this should serve to warn you although the author seems to be saying that if these techniques are properly employed there is no resisting the seduction. I’m very early in the book. If nothing else it is a good read.

  2. Hm.. these books are good and band. The good – they help people become aware of this cunning lot. They can also empower people to advocate for themselves in more constructive and deliberate ways. The bad – in the wrong hands, shit gets out hand really fast. And people get hurt. Thanks for sharing your story. Unfortunately, there are so many people out in the world like the seductress. My mom is one of them. And trust me, no one would want to meet her in a dark alley. She is a master of exploiting the delicate pieces of a human soul. I mean the bitch is scary… Anyway, great blog. Thank you.

  3. Gotta get the book. Wow. Thanks for sharing. This was interesting about you. Not sure really what to think. I can’t see thisi happening to the Jim I know so far. You seem sly like a fox. Hmmmm… guess we all have our soft spots and weaknesses…. It does happen before you can even blink sometimes.

    • Oh, forgot, it is a great book and well worth reading. I’m reading it now, just a little each day before going to sleep. The historical anecdotes make it worth reading all by themselves.

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