Billy, “Hm? What am I doing with Dad’s electric razor? What does it look like I’m doing? I need parts for my time machine. How can I go back and fix things without a time machine? You must think I’m stupid.”
Sally, “First you pull the heads off my dolls and now you are breaking Dad’s shaver. Stop breaking people’s stuff!”
Billy, “You know, if I am going to travel through time I have to have control. I need something with a clock and a calendar. Where’s Mom’s phone?”
Sally, “Stop it! You can’t travel through time. Nobody can. Those are just stupid stories for people who don’t have enough imagination to make real life be fun.”
Billy, “Is it later than it was before? Yes. We traveled through time to get to now from before. You are so weird. We are always traveling through time. I just want to go backwards instead of forwards. Sidewards would be fun too, because everyone would be frozen except me.”
Sally, “Stupid, stupid, stupid! You don’t even know where you are going. If you went to yesterday or tomorrow without moving in space the world wouldn’t even be here. It travels around the sun. And if you waited a full year exactly the world still wouldn’t be here because the Sun travels too and the Earth goes with it.”
Billy, “Do you think I don’t know that? The hardest part of time travel is space travel. It’s all part of the same thing. Mom’s phone has GPS — Global Positioning System — so it knows the position of the globe. Give me Mom’s phone!”
Sally, “If you go back in time then you will get younger and you will unlearn all the stupid things you think you know and then when you go forward to change something you won’t even know that you went back. That’s how stupid you are. Stupid and weird.”
Billy, “You have to protect yourself by wearing a special time travel suit so you don’t just rewind. That’s why I have your raincoat here, to protect me. I think of everything.”
Sally, “Stupid and weird. The universe started with a big bang and everything was a tiny little dot. And things are still getting bigger and bigger. If you protected yourself from changing when you went back you’d be a super giant ghost bigger than the world and things would just pass through you because in comparison you’d just be so spread out you’d be like empty space. That’s how stupid and weird you are.”
Billy, “Stop doing this to me! I have to go back and stop Johnny from playing on the roof so he doesn’t fall. Johnny was fun, not like you with your stupid dolls and being a giant in the wrong part of space.”
Sally, “You’re not fixing anything. All you do is break things. You break my dolls, you break Dad’s razor, you break Mom’s phone. You should be nice and help us all get through this.”
. . .
Sally, “Mommy? Here’s some money from Billy and me. We think Daddy should have a new razor and you should get that new phone you keep looking at on the computer. For Christmas. We want you to have new things and be happy. Then we can all be happy. OK?”
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