Headless Dolls

Hm? What am I doing? What does it look like I’m doing? I’m pulling the heads off these dolls.

Oh, WHY am I doing what I’m doing. Well, there’s all these dolls sitting here and no one has yet pulled their heads off so I come by minding my own business and then there’s all these dolls here. What am I supposed to do, just leave them all here with their heads on?

What do you mean, “What if someone wants to play with them?” Watch. Hi, I’m headless Barbie and I have huge boobs and a tiny waist so I’m everything a man could possibly want.

There, satisfied? Played with.

What if all the heads are tired of their bodies and all the bodies are tired of their heads? I’ll bet you never thought about that did you? I’ll bet your body wouldn’t mind having a different head directing it around and making decisions. You don’t even know to pull the heads off dolls so what do you know?

We should do this with people. Like make their heads detachable so it would snap on and off, maybe even with a magnetic click which is all the rage these days. You win at boxing when you knock someone’s block off. I want to be tall and dunk a basketball. We need detachable heads and body choices.

Neck adapters. We will need neck adapters with all these skinny and thick necks people have. You can’t put a #2 head on a number #4 body, now can you? Obviously we’ll need neck adapters.

This could solve that whole mind/body question. First of all you can indeed separate them, we’re doing that now. Let’s put a moody person’s head on a calm person’s body and see which causes which. And the other way. Interesting to see if we end up with two calm people or two emotional wrecks or whatever. They need to match? Who knew? Does the mind affect the body more or the other way around? Pop the heads off and see.

Just don’t put my head on a girl’s body. I’d be all like, “Dude, get that thing away from me!” Ew gross. I just had the thought that those things are everywhere. Ew!

I know! Let’s play Barbie and Ken get married and we’ll switch their heads while they sleep. They love each other completely, right? So it’s still all just each other, just with switched heads. I mean that other guy’s body is just his on her, not like it was some completely other guy which would be so gross. And the other way too, she’d be making out with her own body, not some other girl’s. That would make it OK, right?

7 thoughts on “Headless Dolls

  1. I woke up two days ago with an image of a kid sitting there ripping the heads off dolls. That’s all I started with and I just let it flow. Yesterday’s blog, right in the middle, I felt myself shift from thoughtfully serious to wacky. Maybe I’m a little bipolar or whatever. Regardless, I’m working up a nice little christmas song that people have probably never heard as a piano solo. Italian, called Gesu Bambino. Whenever I get it in my hands and recorded I’ll post that. Coming soon to a blog near you!

      • I laughed out loud at this one Jim.

        Just so you know, just because I don’t comment on your brilliance everyday doesn’t mean that I am not reading – nay! Appreciating every word from up here, on my perch, almost at the top of my Canadian world.

        Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t lose your head.

  2. Pingback: My 100th Post | No Stolen Cat Pictures

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